Imposter Syndrome in Healing: Why You Feel Like You Are Failing Even When You Are Growing
“She is learning that progress is not measured by perfection, but by every small moment of reflection and growth.”
For the high achieving woman who does not recognize her progress
You have been doing the work. Therapy sessions, new coping tools, healthier boundaries. You have journaled after hard conversations. You have said no when it felt terrifying. And yet, the thought creeps in: “I should be further along by now.”
This quiet shame steals joy from your growth. And it is one of the most common struggles I hear from high achieving women healing from trauma, grief, and anxiety: imposter syndrome in the recovery process.
“I Should Be Further Along By Now”
That belief often comes from perfectionism, cultural pressure, or early environments where worth was tied to performance. If you grew up learning that love or belonging had to be earned by being strong, excelling, or never slipping up, it makes sense that progress feels inadequate unless it is flawless or fast.
Comparison is not a flaw. It is a survival strategy you learned to stay safe. But healing asks you to shift from proving to trusting.
Healing Is Not Linear
Growth is not a straight line. Some weeks you feel steady and grounded. Other weeks feel like you have slipped backwards. The truth is that setbacks are part of the process.
Your nervous system is learning new patterns. And just like building muscle, healing takes repetition, rest, and compassion, not constant achievement.
Progress is not a checklist. It is a relationship with your body, your boundaries, and your beliefs.
Signs You Are Growing Even If You Cannot See It
Here are five subtle signs of emotional progress that often go unnoticed:
You notice your triggers more quickly, even if you still react
You pause before saying yes instead of automatically people pleasing
You feel discomfort when setting boundaries but you set them anyway
You recover from stress more quickly than before
You name your needs, even if your voice shakes
These micro shifts build into transformation over time.
Research shows that imposter syndrome affects up to 70 percent of people, and it is especially common among high achieving women navigating healing. Which is why it matters to pause and notice the truth.
You Are Not Behind. You Are Becoming.
Imposter syndrome convinces you that if you were really doing the work, you would be further along. But noticing, questioning, and showing up for yourself are all evidence of growth.
You are not failing. You are becoming. And your healing deserves to be witnessed, not measured.
Anchors to Remind Yourself You Are Not Failing
Healing is not about perfection. It is about building trust with yourself. Try these anchors when doubt creeps in:
Affirmation: “I am allowed to be in process. Growth takes time.”
Reflection: Write down three small wins from this week. A moment of awareness, a boundary held, or even choosing rest.
Grace Practice: When you catch yourself comparing, whisper: “My pace is enough. My healing is mine.”
Somatic Cue: Place one hand on your heart and one on your belly. Breathe in slowly and whisper: “I am allowed to be in process.” Let your body hear what your mind doubts.
Journal Prompts to Recognize Your Progress
When imposter syndrome whispers “You are not doing enough,” these prompts can help you notice the quiet ways you are growing:
What is one thing I handle differently now compared to six months ago
Where have I shown myself more compassion recently
What feels uncomfortable now that might actually be a sign of growth
If a close friend shared the same progress I have made, how would I celebrate her
Recommended Reading
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown. A compassionate guide to letting go of who you think you should be so you can embrace who you are.
Final Reframe for Emotional Impact
Every time you choose compassion over comparison, you rewrite the story of your worth. Every time you pause, reflect, or rest, you practice a new kind of power. And every time you show up, imperfect, in process, and still trying, you are becoming.
Therapy Can Help You Name Your Progress
I work with high achieving women across North Carolina, South Carolina, Texas, Florida, and Maryland, helping them rewrite the story that says worth must be earned. My specialties include trauma, grief, and anxiety, with a focus on supporting women who feel weighed down by perfectionism and self doubt.
You do not need to earn your worth.
You do not have to compare your journey.
You are not behind.