Breaking the Cycle Starts With You (Even When It Feels Unfair)
What are you still carrying that never belonged to you?
The Silent Grief, Trauma, and Anxiety Behind Being the Strong One
You were the one who saw it.
The emotional games. The unspoken expectations. The pain no one talked about—but everyone passed down.
And now you’re the one doing the work:
Naming the trauma your family minimized
Feeling the grief no one else wants to touch
Holding the anxiety that shows up every time you stop performing “fine”
This isn’t just boundary-setting.
This is breaking emotional inheritance.
And it hurts.
Because doing things differently often means losing the version of your family you tried so hard to keep together.
They Pretend It Didn’t Happen. You Feel It In Your Body.
You weren’t taught to feel.
You were trained to:
Be helpful, not honest
Be easy, not emotional
Be strong, not supported
And now your nervous system is carrying the cost.
That tightness in your chest before a phone call?
That guilt when you ask for space?
That exhaustion after every visit?
That’s not overthinking. That’s survival mode.
The Grief No One Talks About
There’s a grief that comes with healing:
Grieving the mother who never really saw you
Grieving the safety that never existed
Grieving the girl you had to become just to be okay
And if you’ve ever thought,
“Why do I feel worse before I feel better?”
That’s the grief talking.
You’re not doing it wrong.
You’re finally being honest.
Journal Prompts (For the One Doing the Work)
What part of me still thinks love is earned through silence?
What did I learn about myself through her expectations?
What’s the hardest truth I’ve had to face since starting this work?
What would it feel like to stop performing closeness?
What do I need to grieve that no one else will ever name?
This Isn’t About Blame—It’s About Freedom
You’re not here to fix your mother.
You’re not here to play the role you’ve outgrown.
You’re here to stop choosing survival when peace is possible.
And that’s not selfish.
That’s sacred.
If You’re Holding All of This—You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
I work with women who are doing the invisible labor of ending generational pain.
Women who carry anxiety in their chest, grief in their gut, and trauma that no one else in their family even names.
You deserve a space to unpack all of it—without judgment, shame, or performance.
I offer virtual therapy for adult women in North Carolina, Texas, South Carolina, and Florida.
Schedule your free consultation
This ends with you.
Not because you caused it.
But because you’re finally ready to live without it.